I'm soooo happyeeeee, so very happeeeeeeyyyyy

All I can say is YUM YUM!!!!! Ame says it Ahm Ahm with her mouth fully open. Today Amelia and I decided to close the kitchen. We threw out things in the fridge daddy could make dinner with (no not all of it). With this rain, we needed to get out. We'd settle for Denny's, since we had a gift card there. Low and behold though, daddy had a gift card to Olive Garden!!! The garden salad was to die for!!!! All you can eat for 6 bucks!!!! Amelia got her very own children's cup after showing daddy and I that she can drink from a straw like a big girl. This kid cracks me up...she's been drinking juice and water from her sippy cup for months, she drinks water out of her water bottle and now she sips from a straw, but she refuses to give up that stink'n bottle! Maybe because she loves making her own milk bottle. She opens the fridge door, holds the milk cap and then puts it back on, opens and closes the microwave and waits for the milk to be poured into her bottle. She gets so excited in the morning when she wakes up. She points her way to the kitchen, all the way to the fridge. So I've been cleaning out boxes in the garage, AGAIN! I swear someone keeps adding boxes into the garage. I emptied three today and a lot of it is on the dining room table. I'm not sure what to do with it. It's our wedding stuff, like cards, favors, and so on. I also have my baby books and artwork when I was a perfect child:) Do I dare put them back into a container or try to find a place in the itsy bitsy house of ours? I think I have to go back into the garage and find a box to clear out and throw away, in order to bring back in a box. It's the only way I'm going to get my pole back up! Speaking of pole...I had one of the greatest dances Thursday night. It felt so good. I danced to "Like A Woman" You have to listen to it. I have it on the blog. Anyway, I dressed up in my mommy clothes, jeans, long sleeve shirt, hair up in a clippy and my favorite black scarf. Each item I was able to shed from my body was a feeling I was able to let go of an emotion. Like throwing the clippy across the room and swinging my long hair threw the air. Or dragging the scarf across the floor with arms stretched out. The emotions came flowing, as well as the tears. I avoided my teacher after class in fear Niagara falls would dump into the studio. There's something so amazing, so raw, so vulnerable, about dancing in the dark, flying around a pole and being a live. I don't remember every part of the dance, but I left feeling so incredibly sensual, so light, so.....well, I felt like I did when I was taking class and teaching, even up to when I was 8 months pregnant. I strongly believe Amelia has her love of music because she was there in my belly listening to my voice and hearing an array of music. It felt really good!!!!! Thanks Teach! I also had my Stella & Dot trunk show at my house Sunday. That was a blast! So many fun women there to try on some really cool pieces of jewelry. I have learned that it's not the tag on your pair of jeans or the label on your shoes, it's the accessories you drape your gorgeous self with that make a statement about yourself. I doesn't have to be something BLING BLING, but simple or eclectic. Some of their pieces were inspired by their grandma's jewelry they have. Go raid mom's jewelry box! I have been asked to become a stylist and I'm really thinking about it. I would be able to network with so many women and possibly embark on some new friendships. Oh, I've also finally looked into play groups for Amelia and I'm joining a bible study. A wonderful friend of the family is going for support. She's going to help me let Amelia make it to the nursery without mommy crying, and to hold my hand as I enter the room of women. I'm a little bit nervous, but excited to connect with a Christian community. I think I mentioned it in a past blog, but I feel the Lord is stripping me of the woman I was. Taking away layers that I put on thinking it was me or would make me a better person. It's been a tough long road, but I'm feeling his presence with me each way and will not give up hope. It's way too late for me to seek therapy:) I'd spend the rest of my life (and life savings, if I had one) trying to rehash the past and break down every event, I don't think that would be good for me. Mind you, the carpet I have swept everything under is now 2' above ground:) It's going to be good. There is still more stripping and sanding away to do for God to mold me, but I have all the time in the world he gives me to enjoy each day, each lesson in life and my hubby and baby girl! Like Kenny says.....Don't Blink!