Good Bye Baby Boy

Today we did the hardest thing I've ever had to do. We had to put Indi to rest today. His real name was Indigo, because when I first saw him, he was like a white fluffy cloud in a blue sky. Indigo is a color blue. My heart is breaking over and over again, hoping and praying we did the right thing. I know in my mind we did, but my heart is yearning for one more day. His leg was causing so much pain. He lost the desire to move around or eat. He just wasn't the same Indigo he used to be. I hope him and Madi are running around in a big green park in doggie heaven. Indi and I had some wonderful time today. I loaded up him and Amelia into her red wagon and headed for the park. We walked in circles, as I avoided his passing. This amazing woman, wearing a vibrant blue sweater walked up and commented on how adorable Indi was. She wasn't a kid person and loved dogs dearly. She went on how she never had children and her best friend her mom, didn't keep animals around very long. She told me her mom passed away 5 years ago. I explained to her what was happening today and she grabbed a hold of me and held me tight. I said she must have been an angel, because I needed her hug desperately. She said "no honey, you're an angel for loving your dog so much." She wished me well and walked away. We circled the park as Amelia gave Indi kisses. We had lunch with dad and Sarah in the park. Indi laid in the wagon, taking in the warmth of the sun and wishing he could chase those noisy ducks away. We made our way home, when mom pulled up to watch Amelia. Sarah drove Indi and I to meet Straty at the doctor's office. All the way there, Indi laid his head on my shoulder, purring in my ear, like he used to do when we shared a pillow at night. It was the sweetest thing, listening to him sleep at night. My heart was burning and I sobbed all the way there. I'm sure he knew what was going on, I just hope he was okay with it and wanted to be at peace. The doctors office was so fast. We brought Indi home and buried him on the side of the house. He laid peacefully in his favorite blanket. No more of him crying in pain, or going potty in his sleep, or struggling to walk. There's got to be a doggie heaven, where he's meeting his older sister now and they are in a joyous reunion. I just can't erase the look he gave me as they mussled him and took him in the other room for prep. Or how he laid there with the mussel before they injected him. I know this is probably too much information, but life is so precious, even if it's a four legged creature. They are truly man's best friend. Lord give me strength took come to peace with his passing, to stop the crying, and to feel we did the right thing. I want him back so much....I loved my baby boy, my Indi, Indi-poo, more than I could have possibly known. He was my first own dog. The first day I met him and how he chased Nelson's shoes. Or when we brought him home and he ate Straty's shaving case, the bathroom floor and cabinet. The days he basked in the sun on his favorite blue raft in the Palm Desert swimming pool. How he chased Madi around the golf course and how he cuddled up on the couch or snuggled into bed and purred to sleep. How his little legs ran in his sleep and how he hated rough housing. Even the grumpy and protector that would snap at you, even when warned:) How he somehow beat the ceasures with the will to live. How he'd beg loudly with no pride and be sure to tell you when he wanted something. And as the years passed and our family grew, he still would get bursts of energy and wag that fluffy tail, trying desperately to be the best companion ever. His soft pink ears and his pink and black nose. Those big black eyes and his bony leg. Indi, my baby boy, thank you so much for 15 years of happiness. You blessed my life in so many ways. Through the happy and sad, you were by my side. Where ever we went, Indi would go. I know you loved life, and I hope and pray, your life now is much better. I miss you and love so very very much. You'll always be my baby boy. Rest in Peace best friend.